Life

True Blue Friends!  Elisa & Poppy
at Danish Christmas Eve about 1978

This blog was created after a rather significant event occurred in my life - my grandfather passed away last October.  This was one of the most difficult experiences of my life!  He was my "True Blue Friend".  We call him Poppy.  I sure do love him and miss him!  A year previous he had been diagnosed with Mesothelioma which is lung cancer caused by exposure to Asbestos.  Due to his service in the Coast Guard/Navy during World War II and the exposure he received to this horrible substance during that time, his life was cut short.  Well, I know the hand of the Lord was in it all, so I guess it was his time to go but he was always trying to eat right, exercise and keep his body healthy.  I really think he could have lived another 10 years.  Even though he was already sick, a week prior to the surgery during where the cancer was discovered he was at the clubhouse lifting weights!

Now, my grandma - MorMor we call her, (which being interpreted from the Danish is "Mother's Mother")  is coming to the end of her mortal life.  It's the greatest desire of her heart to go be with our Poppy - her Hal.  She is so lonesome for him.  She is getting weaker by the day.

The other night I was there taking care of her.  She had fallen earlier and was pretty nervous about falling again.  She wasn't too sure that I am big enough or strong enough to hold her up should she fall.  In her own words she was frantic, thinking that I wouldn't be able to help her.  I tried reassuring her that before Poppy had died there were a couple of times I was helping him and he completely lost his strength yet I was able to catch him and hold him up.  She felt a little better, but was still skeptical.  I asked if she'd like to have a prayer - so we prayed for her safety and strength, for my ability to hold her up and help her should she fall, and expressed gratitude for the kindness and help given by her caretaker Julia.  This seemed to help MorMor a little, but she was still feeling anxious.  I asked her if she'd like to have a priesthood blessing.  Oh!  Yes!  So, the hunt began to find someone who was worthy and available.  It sure is hard sometimes not having the priesthood in your home!  My brother Richard answered the phone was was both  happy and willing to come - he canceled something he already had planned that evening to come out.  While we waited for him, she was still nervous.   I felt so sad for her and wanted to alleviate her anxiety.  The thought came to offer her a foot rub.  I remembered that when I was very sick with a kidney stone and the pain was excruciating, my mom had given me a foot rub which really calmed me down and it was almost like she pulled the pain right out of my body.  So I offered and she said yes.  She calmed down and relaxed.  The spirit in the home changed to calm and peace.  As I was rubbing her feet there were so many thoughts running through my mind, almost like my human brain wasn't enough to process them all.  I thought of her and her life, I thought of the Savior and how he served his apostles by washing their feet.  I felt a little like him as I was serving her in this way.  I thought of a line in my patriarchal blessing that says "you will receive grace as you give grace".  I felt like at that moment I was offering grace to my MorMor.  I was helping her do something that she couldn't do herself.

When he arrived, not long after our conversation, he was dressed in the uniform of the priesthood - a suit and tie.  He is sure handsome!  And he talked so kindly to MorMor.  She expressed her concerns and he gave her a blessing.  It was one of the sweetest experiences of my life.  I could tell that he was really trying to listen to the Spirit and say the things Heavenly Father wanted MorMor to know.  He mentioned Poppy and how he is with her and watching and wants to be with her just as much as she is wanting to be with him.  He said many wonderful things about her family on both sides of the veil who are eager to help her, about how much Heavenly Father loves her, and that when He thinks of her he feels joy.  This blessing really helped her - she was more calm, even happy.  We ate dinner, the three of us together.  It was almost like old times, before Poppy died and before MorMor was sickly and old.  Later she and I looked through some old photographs of her and Poppy when they were young , during his mission and then some from when they were courting.  Fun memories!  I even saw a new picture where they were cuddling on the couch!  So cute!

MorMor & Poppy, Christmas 2009 a few months after his diagnosis,
he had just started Chemotherapy.

Oh!  Life is sometimes so sweet and beautiful!  And yet sometimes it can be excruciatingly painful.  It's so strange to have the sweet and beautiful and pain all at once.  It's so hard to watch my loved ones suffer. I want their suffering to end, but I know the only way that will happen is through death, but I want to be with them.  It's a lot of emotion to feel all at once.  I guess it is better that we pass through sorrow that we may know the joy.  I guess that's life...

The Parable of the Mice

 I was thinking about how fear sometimes leads us to make bad decisions.  I made one a few weeks ago when I discovered there were mice in my house.  I signed up with a pest control company to get their services for a crazy amount of money because I just wanted the mice to be gone.  I was willing to do anything.  After some time passed in which I was able to calm down slightly and talk with family and friends I realized that I had made a bad decision.  Luckily I was able to get out of the agreement and don't have to pay the money.  

During that same week I attended a Relief Society weekday meeting where one of the sisters was sharing her insights regarding social situations.  This great sister, who is an amazing speaker, taught us that we need to make our first response one of kindness and that we ought to approach every new social situation in a positive light - see it as a journey of discovery, one in which we can discover new exciting things about a new person rather than anticipating that the journey will end in rejection, from either side.  I really liked her thoughts and I realized that sometimes I make decisions with fear as the motivator (more often than just when mice are involved) and that this is wrong and something I need to work on. 

 I guess the mice have been good for something!  If ever I have to give a talk on fear and faith I can share "The Parable of the Mice".  

I hope the mice will be entirely gone soon, never to return.  I am deathly afraid of them!