I've been thinking...

A dangerous pass time, I know.  What's that line from??  Beauty and the Beast! ;) 


In all seriousness, I have been thinking.


Two weeks ago the Branch Presidency told all the Elder's Quorum and Relief Society Presidents that we would need to take a few minutes during our combined meeting that will be held at church tomorrow and tell the branch members what we think the branch needs.  Well, this is a daunting task, as we only get 3 or 4 minutes to express our thoughts AND there are almost 600 members of the branch.  This makes me slightly nervous.


I have thought and prayed and this is what I have come up with:

We all have faced and will continue to face trials, challenges, and disappointments during our lives.  You can't have made it this far in life without hitting a few speed bumps along the way.  Whether it be temptations that are difficult to withstand, disappointment related to relationships or the lack thereof, frustration with jobs, or fears that are hard for us to get a handle on, pretty much life has most likely not turned out for anyone the way they imagined it would.  I have recently dealt with a trial that has been extremely difficult for me, but I can tell you that I feel a strength from the Lord in my life.  I am trying so hard not to let this challenge take over my life and Heavenly Father is truly helping me in this.  I have never had such an experience before where I have felt love and hope like I have these past few weeks; it's amazing! Truly, it is a miracle!!

  I am reminded of the people of Alma when they were in bondage to the Lamanites and Amulon and the other wicked priests of Noah were given power over them:  

"And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort....And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.  And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the the will of the Lord."  Mosiah 24:13-15.

The burden has not been taken away from me - I still feel sad and discouraged at times. But somehow, through the Atonement I am being strengthened and I am being filled with hope.  There have been so many tender mercies from the Lord that have helped me as I work to get through this trial.  And believe me, it is work - I have to strive to keep my thoughts positive and to actually turn to the Lord through prayer, scripture study, temple worship, etc., but I see that as I am doing the best I know how the Lord is expanding and magnifying my efforts.  I stand as a witness that the Lord does visit his people in their afflictions.  He is aware of me, and knew before the trial began that it was coming.  He sent tender mercies to prepare me, and has continued to bless me as I work through the trial.  The love and hope I feel is truly amazing, and I know that this is only possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ- I don't know how it works but I know it does.  I am so blessed and grateful!  

At stake conference this last week we were counseled to find out what the Holy Ghost is inviting us to do to build our faith and hope in Christ.  I think that as members of the branch and stake we need to take this counsel to heart. I think if each of us can figure out what our own answer to that question is and then act on that answer we will build hope and faith in the Savior and we will come to not just believe in Him, but believe Him when he says he will take care of us.  We will allow Him to take care of us and ease our burdens, we will allow His Atonement to be active in our lives.  Something I am learning is that WE must allow the Savior to help us.  He stands at the ready to help, but if we insist on doing it alone, or insist on being miserable, He won't step in and force us to accept what He offers.  I testify that God our Father and His son Jesus Christ, are aware of each one of us, that they love us and that one of their greatest desires is to help us in this life to be happy - life doesn't have to be so hard if we let them help us get through it. 

Happy Birthday Poppy!

It was Poppy's Birthday today! 


He passed away last October. We miss him sooooo much! 


Bianca, my four year old niece,  called Grammies (my mom) today and asked if we could get a balloon and a card and send it to him in Heaven for his birthday. What a little darling!!


 So, these pictures document our "Happy Birthday" for Poppy. 


After she let them go, she turned to Grammies and said "Heavenly Father will see the balloons and cards and say 'I think these are for you Hal- are you Poppy?' and Poppy would say yes and he would be so happy and then maybe Heavenly Father will let him come and whisper in our ear 'Thank you my little Ter Bear (that is what Poppy called Grammies since she was a little girl, his little Ter Bear) Thank you Bianca! Thank you Auntie Elisa! Thank you Kirsten! Thank you Francisco!'"  


So, sweet!!   Good times! 

Happy Birthday Poppy! :)

There is yet much to be thankful for...

Last night I drove to my grandmother's home to help her get ready for bed.  My mom was taking care of her last night, but due to a knee injury she was unable to do the lifting required to help MorMor change to her pajamas, and get into bed, so I offered to help.  Cute MorMor!!  She seemed a little more like her old self last night, at least for a little while.  She smiled and laughed and it was nice :)  After I got her in bed, she said sort of a prayer - she sometimes starts out saying something, in this case expressing gratitude to my mom and I for helping her so much last night, for making the day as pleasant as possible, and then it ends up as a prayer.  She said this phrase that stuck out to me:  "There is yet much to be thankful for."  I thought about that - there is yet much to be thankful for.  My little grandma is so old, her body is not doing anything that she would like it to do.  She is lonesome for her sweetheart.  She has dementia.  She is dying.  And yet there is much to be thankful for.  She then said "I would like to close that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."  What a sweet prayer of gratitude!  I thought about how I need to be more like that - even in the midst of the trial there is yet much to be thankful for.  MorMor is still teaching me.

The Amazing Plan of Happiness

Yesterday was Easter.  I  was thinking about the Savior and the Atonement he preformed for us all so that we would have the possibility of doing so many things.  We can be reunited with our bodies after we die.  We can be with our loved ones again - He took the sting of death away!  We can repent of sins, we can be comforted in our trials and sorrows.  I know I don't understand a hundredth part of how the Atonement works, but I know it does and I know that I will be forever grateful to Jesus Christ for doing this for me.  My grandfather passed away six months ago, and now my grandmother is coming close to the time when she will be with him again.  I am so sad to lose them - but really I am sad that I don't get to see them and associate with them - for a time.  I am excited and happy to know that I will be with them again!  Because of Jesus Christ we belong to each other - F O R E V E R!!!  I just love the gospel and I am grateful for the testimony that Jesus Christ lives, and because He lives we will too.  :)

Life

True Blue Friends!  Elisa & Poppy
at Danish Christmas Eve about 1978

This blog was created after a rather significant event occurred in my life - my grandfather passed away last October.  This was one of the most difficult experiences of my life!  He was my "True Blue Friend".  We call him Poppy.  I sure do love him and miss him!  A year previous he had been diagnosed with Mesothelioma which is lung cancer caused by exposure to Asbestos.  Due to his service in the Coast Guard/Navy during World War II and the exposure he received to this horrible substance during that time, his life was cut short.  Well, I know the hand of the Lord was in it all, so I guess it was his time to go but he was always trying to eat right, exercise and keep his body healthy.  I really think he could have lived another 10 years.  Even though he was already sick, a week prior to the surgery during where the cancer was discovered he was at the clubhouse lifting weights!

Now, my grandma - MorMor we call her, (which being interpreted from the Danish is "Mother's Mother")  is coming to the end of her mortal life.  It's the greatest desire of her heart to go be with our Poppy - her Hal.  She is so lonesome for him.  She is getting weaker by the day.

The other night I was there taking care of her.  She had fallen earlier and was pretty nervous about falling again.  She wasn't too sure that I am big enough or strong enough to hold her up should she fall.  In her own words she was frantic, thinking that I wouldn't be able to help her.  I tried reassuring her that before Poppy had died there were a couple of times I was helping him and he completely lost his strength yet I was able to catch him and hold him up.  She felt a little better, but was still skeptical.  I asked if she'd like to have a prayer - so we prayed for her safety and strength, for my ability to hold her up and help her should she fall, and expressed gratitude for the kindness and help given by her caretaker Julia.  This seemed to help MorMor a little, but she was still feeling anxious.  I asked her if she'd like to have a priesthood blessing.  Oh!  Yes!  So, the hunt began to find someone who was worthy and available.  It sure is hard sometimes not having the priesthood in your home!  My brother Richard answered the phone was was both  happy and willing to come - he canceled something he already had planned that evening to come out.  While we waited for him, she was still nervous.   I felt so sad for her and wanted to alleviate her anxiety.  The thought came to offer her a foot rub.  I remembered that when I was very sick with a kidney stone and the pain was excruciating, my mom had given me a foot rub which really calmed me down and it was almost like she pulled the pain right out of my body.  So I offered and she said yes.  She calmed down and relaxed.  The spirit in the home changed to calm and peace.  As I was rubbing her feet there were so many thoughts running through my mind, almost like my human brain wasn't enough to process them all.  I thought of her and her life, I thought of the Savior and how he served his apostles by washing their feet.  I felt a little like him as I was serving her in this way.  I thought of a line in my patriarchal blessing that says "you will receive grace as you give grace".  I felt like at that moment I was offering grace to my MorMor.  I was helping her do something that she couldn't do herself.

When he arrived, not long after our conversation, he was dressed in the uniform of the priesthood - a suit and tie.  He is sure handsome!  And he talked so kindly to MorMor.  She expressed her concerns and he gave her a blessing.  It was one of the sweetest experiences of my life.  I could tell that he was really trying to listen to the Spirit and say the things Heavenly Father wanted MorMor to know.  He mentioned Poppy and how he is with her and watching and wants to be with her just as much as she is wanting to be with him.  He said many wonderful things about her family on both sides of the veil who are eager to help her, about how much Heavenly Father loves her, and that when He thinks of her he feels joy.  This blessing really helped her - she was more calm, even happy.  We ate dinner, the three of us together.  It was almost like old times, before Poppy died and before MorMor was sickly and old.  Later she and I looked through some old photographs of her and Poppy when they were young , during his mission and then some from when they were courting.  Fun memories!  I even saw a new picture where they were cuddling on the couch!  So cute!

MorMor & Poppy, Christmas 2009 a few months after his diagnosis,
he had just started Chemotherapy.

Oh!  Life is sometimes so sweet and beautiful!  And yet sometimes it can be excruciatingly painful.  It's so strange to have the sweet and beautiful and pain all at once.  It's so hard to watch my loved ones suffer. I want their suffering to end, but I know the only way that will happen is through death, but I want to be with them.  It's a lot of emotion to feel all at once.  I guess it is better that we pass through sorrow that we may know the joy.  I guess that's life...

The Parable of the Mice

 I was thinking about how fear sometimes leads us to make bad decisions.  I made one a few weeks ago when I discovered there were mice in my house.  I signed up with a pest control company to get their services for a crazy amount of money because I just wanted the mice to be gone.  I was willing to do anything.  After some time passed in which I was able to calm down slightly and talk with family and friends I realized that I had made a bad decision.  Luckily I was able to get out of the agreement and don't have to pay the money.  

During that same week I attended a Relief Society weekday meeting where one of the sisters was sharing her insights regarding social situations.  This great sister, who is an amazing speaker, taught us that we need to make our first response one of kindness and that we ought to approach every new social situation in a positive light - see it as a journey of discovery, one in which we can discover new exciting things about a new person rather than anticipating that the journey will end in rejection, from either side.  I really liked her thoughts and I realized that sometimes I make decisions with fear as the motivator (more often than just when mice are involved) and that this is wrong and something I need to work on. 

 I guess the mice have been good for something!  If ever I have to give a talk on fear and faith I can share "The Parable of the Mice".  

I hope the mice will be entirely gone soon, never to return.  I am deathly afraid of them!

Spring!

Today was such a beautiful day!!!  The sunshine made me feel like Spring is on it's way...


And, I live for Spring!  Thoughts of  light golden sunshine and smiling flowers, umbrellas and rain showers, new green growing things, and more surprises that only Spring can bring help me get through the winter.  Today was like a little reprieve from Heavenly Father, a gift from Him to me (and, well all of us!).  He knows how much I love Spring, and He loves me so much, I think He decided to give me a few days of it.  Oh, how I am blessed!

Hooray for Spring!!!